If You Are Any Indication of What Husbands Are Like...

I was approached by another married man today. I was in Walgreens (buying Midol...hot, I know) and he was browsing through the pain pills...you're right, no one ever browses through pain pills...unless they are trying to act casual and come up with a slick line to throw at some unsuspecting, PMSing chick at Walgreens. I saw him out of the corner of my I eye and I knew it was coming. I saw the wedding ring and I even noticed the picture of who I presumed to be his two sons and infant daughter on his key chain.

Finally (not in the sense that I was looking forward to it, but it was getting a little weird in that aisle, let me tell you) he steps over to me and says, "Hey, how ya doin?" Wow. All that time reading the back of a box of Advil and that's what you got? He reached out and I could tell he was going to touch my arm, so I smiled and stepped around him and scurried up to the counter and then out the door.

Someone tell me: What is it about me that makes a man think, "Now there's a girl I would want to cheat on my wife with"? It might sound to some people like a compliment, but I feel just a little bit more offended and insulted every time it happens. I'm not the girl you'd want to date. I'm not the girl you want to take home to mom. I'm not the girl you'd like to make love to. I'm the girl you want to score with in the cab of your pick up in between picking the kids up from school and watching Survivor with your wife. I cannot even begin to explain how flattered I am not.

And the timing of this particular approach is a slightly ironic, considering that just yesterday, Aaron and I had this big discussion about how I could never, ever trust anyone %100 to never do anything...good people do bad things and men are notorious for letting their most unattractive body part make some pretty hefty decisions. How could I ever say, "I know that ________ would never cheat on me" when on a regular basis, nice, professional, well respected family men are coming up to me at Hobby Lobby (while their cute pregnant wife shops for supplies to hand make her own baby annoucements) and Wal-Mart (their arms full of tampons and Cosmo and Russell Stovers and Hallmark Cards for their menstruating princess) and out and out asking me for some ass? They don't even bother to hide it which leads me to believe that there must be something about me that screams, "Yes, I am willing to have meaningless, inappropriate and incredibly risky sex with you! Married? Psssh, who cares?" If anyone could just explain to me what that particular something is...

And in the tradition of being honest, yes, I have made this particular mistake before--I have been the "other girl" on several occasions. But that was in the past...can men smell it on me? Can they tell that I've been guilty of that indiscretion before and assume that that I'll most likely do it again? I hope not. I hope this is just a phase. I hope that these adulterous assholes stop coming up to me and disrespecting their wives and myself. I have matured so much. I'm not that girl anymore, damn it. I'm not the girl who is always up for cheap thrills anymore. These days, if I'm not wearing panties, I just forgot. I think monogamy is a beautiful thing, not just a big, extinct word. I want to have a relationship, not just sex. I no longer think it's exciting to barely make it out the door, bra in purse, zipping my pants, before his wife pulls into the driveway. I am now able to put myself in her position and feel that pain and it makes all the difference in the world as far as my attitude is concerned. There's nothing like being cheated on to make you stop and think before you jump into someone else's bed with someone else's man.

And these past mistakes...are they holding me back in my newest and most amazing relationship? Do I subconciously assume that if I can't keep it in my pants, no one else can? Do I want him to cheat, so that I feel better about some of the thing I've done? I know that my experiences with men have drastically decreased my chances of trusting someone again, but am I a little bit to blame, too? Is my lack of self-control, my dirtiest secret, my most basic desire, the reason that I am so incredibly repulsed by other people's unfaithful husbands? Is it because, deep down, I am scared that I'm just like them? That one day, I'm going to be reading the back of a box of Advil, trying to think of something slick to say to get someone to get naked for me?

Oh, look at this big box of worms I've opened up! Whatever the reasoning, I hate these men and their arrogance and irresponsibility and carelessness. I hate to think of their oblivious wives. I hate to think of their adoring children. I hate that they look at me and wonder what color my panties are and if I'll give them a peek. Your wife has panties...and she gave birth to your children...and she lets you watch Sportscenter...go ask her for a peek.

Hmm...